First Message To A Girl

Listen up fellas, we know you’ve thought about it, researched it on Google (which may be how you ended up here), and we agree with you, it’s not easy. Yep, I’m talking about composing your first message to a girl. You know, those tense moments when you’re sending a text message or an online message to a new lady for the first time and you write, erase, and rewrite basically the same thing five times over, those moments. So, let’s talk about it.

First step, look at you, you’re great! You have so much to offer and are genuinely a good person who is just looking to meet someone new. Totally fair. The hard part is, how do you get that, the good stuff, to come out in your online message? Here’s the deal, there may not be as much to it as you think. Sometimes, and I know you’ve heard this one, less really is more!


first message to a girl

Below you will find a list of tips for: Your First Message to a Girl.

We have included example messages for copy and pasting needs, but don’t forget to use your real information!

Basics: Name, Age, Location, Sex, Why you have reached out to her:


“Hi Sara! My name is Nick Smith, I am 24 and just moved to Brooklyn with my dog, Bruce. I am a nice guy, oldest of four siblings and originally from Virginia. I’m looking to meet some new people in this busy city. I recently came across your profile and noticed that we have some common interests. Since I’ve been trying out some new restaurants in Brooklyn, I would love to take you out for dinner or drinks and discuss our mutual love of Game of Thrones (haha), maybe you pick the place since I am new here? Hope to hear from you soon. – Nick”

Let her know you’re a real person! Suggestion: Give her your Facebook or Instagram name:


“If you’d like to see some of my photos you can find me on Instagram at @nicksmith1 or Facebook as Nick Smith – my profile picture is me surfing!”

End Goals:


“I’m new to dating sites, but figured it would be helpful for you to know that I am looking to meet someone that I am compatible with. Someone that I can be with and just be myself, and you know, have fun. If I find the right person I would love to see where things go, but I am not in a rush to start dating right away.”

first message to a girl

We have also included some “Don’t” tips, see below!

Don’t overload on information:

Telling someone your entire life story in one message is 1. Annoying to read and 2. Boasts over confidence or nervousness – as if the story of your life is the only thing that will convince them to meet you. Besides, saving the details are what the in-person dates are for!

Don’t talk about past relationships:

The last thing a girl is looking to be is a rebound date. Avoid – “I’m looking to go out on dates so I can forget about my ex” at all costs!

Don’t send more than one photo of yourself:

This too can come off boastful. In a way, you’re assuming she only cares about your looks. In most cases, she will probably want to see what you look like before your first date, but too many photos can be creepy. This is why openly directing them to your social media is a good fall back.
There you have it guys, be sure to incorporate this tips when it comes to your first message to a girl. You’d be surprised to see what a little planning can do when it comes to contacting a new person for the first time. Best of luck to you gents! For more first message ideas click here.

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